Roar
by The Shadowess
Summary: The sea, it rages, it rages with fury against all oppositions. The sea is angry, but the sea is sad. It thrashes, it grieves. The sea roars. Felix shows Isaac the falls where the sea ends.


"I hate to be near the sea, and to hear it roaring and raging like a wild beast in its den. It puts me in mind of the everlasting efforts of the human mind, struggling to be free, and ending just where it began." – _William Hazlitt_

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**Roar ****

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The sea roared.

It was alive, it was. Foaming and frothing and bubbling, running, splashing, wave after wave crashing onto whatever unfortunate rock that happened to be in its way. The water was angry, it was _furious_. It pounded, rumbled the earth. It tainted the air with icy mist and a distinct scent, it screamed and screamed and screamed its pain, its sorrow, its grief that knew no bounds.

It shouted, shrieked.

Cascades of water, torrents of water, water that was forever, that knew no end. It stormed through the air, the ground, stinging spray giving warning, stay back, stay back.

Eyes shining, Isaac watched the waterfall silently, looking very at ease, full of wonderment. He stooped ever so slightly, reaching down a hand into the waves. The water screamed its objection, biting and scratching and pulling his hand along violently. Isaac raised his hand and scattered the water into the air, returning it to itself with a silent apology. The droplets flew, fell. Sunlight glinted, glittered, stunningly beautiful in the bright light of day. "This," he breathed.

"This is the sea."

Felix stood a ways back. "Yes," came his quiet reply.

Isaac gazed at the rushing water. It looked so busy, but he felt so calm. He turned to Felix.

"Thank you."

Felix raised an eyebrow. "Thank you?"

"…For showing this. For showing this to me." Isaac cast his arm about. "This!"

"But you've seen this. All of this."

Isaac paused. His joyful expression faded.

"…A little," he agreed, softly. "But I never looked. Not once."

Felix frowned and waited for Isaac to continue.

"We were following you. All that time. We were trying to catch up…to find you. That was our goal."

A seabird flapped off a small tree, into the air, into the blue, blue sky. Its squawks muffled the sound of the water. Just for a second.

"If I had taken time to do anything else…" He faced the open skies.

"I'm not sure I could have gone on."

Felix listened. He didn't speak, merely watched as Isaac began to pace over the stony ground.

"I never wanted to go on the quest, you know. I didn't know why I did. But I thought…I thought…oh, I don't know…"

Isaac spun around, slowly. "Kraden told us of the sea, once. He said how magnificent the sea was. It was endless, big, blue…

"Back then, I thought the idea was wonderful. But…I never thought I'd actually see it. And when we did get to…

"Like I said. I didn't look. I couldn't…I couldn't. On the ships. In the harbors. At the coastline. I never looked at the sea. I never looked, I never looked…oh…"

"But you see it now."

"Yes. I see it. And this…I never imagined it could be this, this…I don't know. Wonderful. Or something. I feel strange. Like, maybe there's just been something I've been searching for all this time…and I just never knew it. It's…weird, you know? Maybe there were other reasons why I…why I didn't look. I have this feeling. Have you ever felt like this, Felix? Do you know what I'm talking about?

"Look at it all, Felix. They call this Gaia Falls, don't they? Where the seas disappear. Where the seas begin."

Felix had been watching as Isaac talked, watched, eyes following his every movement. "I'm glad that you're happy."

Isaac opened his mouth, then closed it. He paced.

Felix studied him for a moment, then let it go. "They say this is the best lookout on the falls." He motioned at the ground. "This cliff is the highest one that stands directly above it."

"Am I happy?"

"What?"

"What…what you said. Am I happy?"

Felix blinked, confused. "What do you…it's…up to you, whether you're happy or not."

Isaac paced faster. Forward, back, forward, back. "I don't know…" He shook his head, as if trying to get something out of his hair. "I don't know, I don't know…" He stopped, looked at Felix, walked in front of him, staring into his face with almost desperate eyes. Tired eyes.

"Am I happy?"

Felix stepped back. Those eyes…look away. Look away. He couldn't meet the stare. "I don't know, Isaac."

Isaac turned away, pacing, pacing. His boots slapped against the stone.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know."

"No, no, no," Isaac muttered. "I know you don't. But I don't…I don't…" He sank to the ground, letting out a guttering cry. Face in hands.

"I don't know," he mumbled. "I don't…no, no, no, no…"

"…Isaac?"

Isaac let his hands fall. Stood.

"Felix," he almost sang. Felix turned to see Isaac standing contentedly in front of him.

"Did you know, Felix?"

"Know what?"

"Do you know what they say?"

"Say…what?"

Isaac laughed softly. "They say that Gaia Falls goes on forever. They say that there is no bottom, that once the water goes over the edge, it'll never stop falling…never."

Isaac began to walk. Slowly, slowly, one step after the other. Left foot. Right foot. Left.

He made his way towards the cliff's edge.

"Wait…" Felix's eyes widened. "It's dangerous." He took a few steps forward.

Isaac stopped just a few inches away from the edge. He looked back, at Felix.

"Don't you wonder, Felix?" His voice was barely a whisper, almost drowned out by the crashing of waves below. But Felix heard. Yes, he heard.

"Don't you wonder?"

"Won…" Felix's mouth was dry. "Wonder what?"

"What it would be like. To just…fall. And fall. Forever. Forever…never having to worry about hitting the ground. Never even having to _think_…

"It would be interesting, don't you think? I mean, just imagine…falling, falling, with nothing to hold onto, without _caring_ that there's nothing to hold onto…and just…fall." He chuckled. "Falling down falls. Funny, isn't it?"

Felix took another few steps forward.

Another seabird burst from the bushes. Its cries rang in the air as it flew, higher, higher, higher…

Isaac stared after the bird, fascinated. It flew towards the sun, towards the golden, golden sun, nothing but a shadowed dot against the sun's might. Isaac continued to watch as the dot disappeared, watching and watching until the bird was long gone and the sun was burning his eyes, dizzying him and burning, burning, burning until wetness prickled under his eyelids and slid down the side of his face.

The push was all that was needed. More of that wetness followed the first droplets. Isaac finally closed his eyes, tilted his head back even more to catch the spray of the ocean that mingled on his face. He lowered his head, looked at Felix once again.

Wordlessly, disbelievingly, Felix took another few steps.

Isaac's tears added salt to the sea.

"Heh. I just remembered."

Another few steps. "Remembered…what?"

"I did look at the sea. Just once. Before now, I mean.

"I looked for a second. Back there, in the Venus Lighthouse. When the lighthouse split. Do you remember it?

"It was when Sheba fell. I was...excited to be able to see you again, I'll admit. We were close back then, in Vale…and I hadn't really been able to speak to you in the Sanctum. But I somehow…somehow…I could tell. What you were going to do. I knew you were going to go after her, to save her. I could tell.

"And when you jumped off…I broke my own promise. I had to look. Had to…and I looked. I saw you fall. I saw her fall. I saw you, falling, going after her, falling…and I saw the sea, far, far, far below."

Isaac shook his bangs from his eyes. Another tear trailed a path down his cheek.

"What did it feel like, Felix? To fall?"

"…Isaac, what are you…no, no, Isaac…" A few more steps.

Isaac began to walk backwards. Slowly, slowly. One foot left the edge of the cliff; he slipped slightly before regaining balance. One foot remained on the edge while the other was hovered over the waterfall.

Felix stared into Isaac's eyes.

"You know," Isaac spoke thoughtfully. "I imagine if I move either of my legs the wrong way, I'll fall."

Felix's breath was coming in faster. "Isaac," he almost moaned. "Don't fall, just stop, stop…"

Isaac smiled. "I can see it all…so clear. I see you falling." Isaac gave his head a tiny shake, maintaining his expression. "You fell for her. You went after her." He fell silent, and Felix drew in his breath.

"…But you won't fall for me."

Isaac sighed, then gave a small giggle. "It's okay, though. I don't blame you." Standing so high up was making him dizzy. He steadied himself. "I don't blame you."

"…No," Felix whispered.

Another tear. Another laugh. "It's okay. You'll see. You won't, but it's okay…"

Isaac straightened and began to shift. His eyes lit up as he remembered something.

"Felix," he spoke. "You won't fall for me. But I have to admit…" He gazed at him through his blurred vision.

"I did fall for you."

Fury. Unmatched disbelief and anger and grief and denial and _rage_ tore through Felix like a blunted sword, painfully unbearable and real, and Felix roared, roared to match the sea, because for a moment, the sea and him were one, together, raging and raging and _roaring_ together. Felix roared, he dashed forward, the sea at his feet, it was helping him, aiding him, urging him faster, faster, faster, to _get there_ –

Isaac took a step.

Felix silenced. Now he stared, filled with some implacable emotion that bubbled and frothed and tumulted around inside him, in his heart, in his mind, in his very soul…

_You won't fall for me._

He stepped back.

Slowly, slowly, he began to back away from the cliff, away from the edge. He backed away from the sea, the sea that screamed for his sorrow, for his rage. Slowly, he began to turn.

Then, ripping his eyes away from the cliff's edge, he ran, ran away from the cliff, the sea, the sky, the sun.

Ran down the path that he had led Isaac up on.

He ran, and he hated himself, hated Isaac, hated the cliff, the sky…the sea.

He hated, because Isaac had told the truth.

_You won't fall for me._

He ran, and he hated.

_I did fall for you._

The sea roared.


End file.
